This is without a doubt THE WORST place I've stayed in, in my life. Having travelled extensively I was surprised to find somewhere in a developed country so badly run by it's own live-in head of staff.
Cost-wise it is one of the cheaper hostels in Melbourne, and on the edge of the city it is convenient in terms of transport, yet these benefits do not excuse the sheer uncleanliness of the rooms and kitchen areas, and the utterly disgusting attitude of those running things. There were hardly any pots/pans/knives forks/anything to use, and what little they had was either broken or filthy. The fridges didn't work properly, thus all food went 'off' very quickly and the kitchen often had a bad smell to it.
Any amount of noise beyond 8:30pm is quickly quashed by an authoritarian 'telling off', whereby someone will come and turn the DVD/TV volume down even if the people watching it are talking significantly louder. This is due to the fact that staff live on-site, and woe-be-tide if their own night's sleep is disturbed, regardless of the fact that the bar underneath the hostel is so loud that everyone is kept awake by the sound of loud thrashing drums, guitars and cat-whiney singing throughout the weekend.
In my experience the staff in question regularly threw their weight around by threatening backpackers with eviction at the slightest opportunity - this included talking too loud at dinner, swearing, and even arguing with the manager was considered bad behaviour that warranted repremanding. It became apparent that our host(s) treated their guests more like children in their own house rather than backpackers who only wanted somewhere to stay and have a little fun.
There is NO SECURITY here whatsoever - in the time I stayed there my own food was regularly stolen, somebody's laptop went missing from their room, there were fights with the locals taking place outside my window most weekend nights, to name but a few pleasant experiences I remember. My only reason for staying was the people - I had a great time when out with friends, but everyone I met at Global Backpackers agreed that it would be their one and only visit to this hellhole in such an amazing city.
My advice: STAY WELL AWAY FROM THIS HOSTEL AT ALL COSTS. You'd get better value for money sleeping rough on the streets.
Unique Quality: None. Apart from the lack of sense-of-humour from the hostel owner/full time idiot woman.
1 Southgate Ave, Southbank, Melbourne
8 Whiteman St, Southbank, Melbourne
1 Parliament Square, Melbourne
495 Collins St, (formerly Le Meridien at Rialto), Melbourne
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Address: 238 Victoria Street, North Melbourne, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia