Frankopanska Torta #1
Among the multitude of unwelcome tourists that have traveled to, through, and over what is modern-day Croatia were the Austrians and Hungarians. Titled as lords, dukes, and counts, they usually repeated the standard ritual of pre-1950 era history in that part of Europe with your usual pillaging, raping, taxing, and other forms of behaviour guaranteed not to get them invited for a return visit. The Frankopans were a Croatian-Dalmatian family that came to power when Croatia (at least in its form at that time) joined the Kingdom of Hungary somewhere in the 1100-1530's to try to protect itself from other "outside interests". This was about the time when the Ottomans were interested in "vacationing" in Dalmatia and "exporting" Turkish coffee to the Balkans. No Bienvenue, Welcommen, Welcome for this lot. Traveling through the country, vestiges of pillages are still evident along with your token statuary or monument.
One such item still evident comes in an edible form.
The dreaded Frankopanska Torta.
It is not like our comparative holiday fruit cake, as it is quite tasty and addictive.
It is like our holiday fruit cake as it has the weight possible only when baking with ingredients culled from the lower right hand column of the Periodic Table. I believe 2/3 of the Frankopanska torta is made from Lawrencium, with the highest atomic mass of 262.0. With each successive bite of the torta, I felt the steel tubing of my chairs slowly buckle.
Why it wasn't classified as a weapon of mass desturction, at least in those old days, is beyond me. Perhaps something with 3 inches of schlagge poured on it disqualifies it as a weapon of any sorts. Having been attacked (well...self-attacked as I personally aimed and loaded the cake in the general direction of my full-tilt open mouth) by this gastronomic bomba, I type here with the hazy memories of a sugar high still plucking at the back of my tongue.
How do you describe a cake that has you hallucinating (and I know cannabis was not baked in; it isn't on the Periodic Table)?