Voulez-vous parlez francais avec moi ce soir? by Confucius
Confucius presents some useful French phrases for your next visit to Paris:Maybe you need directions in Paris and a farmer from the French countryside suddenly stops you on the street and asks you for help instead. Hey, it could happen! Tell him:
"Je n'habite pas en Paris" I don't live in Paris.
"Je suis en vacances" I am on vacation.
"Je suis perdu aussi" I'm lost too!
"Tant pis pour toi" Tough luck for you!
One of my favorite French phrases in Paris is:
"Ou est le restaurant chinois la plus proche?
(Where is the nearest Chinese restaurant?)
Finished eating at a cafe? Say 'check please'
"L'addition s'il vous plait"
If you are invited by Paris friends for a home cooked meal, try surprising them with this:
"Je peux faire la vaisselle?"
(May I do the dishes?)
Engage them in some after dinner conversation:
"Les films de Jerry Lewis sont vachement drole, n'est pas?"
(Those Jerry Lewis movies are extremely funny, aren't they?)
"Vous avez 'Les Simpsons' a la tele ici?"
(Do you have 'The Simpsons" on TV here?)
A useful phrase for Paris taxi drivers is:
"Tu connais le chemin?"
(Do you know the way?)
Forget the taxi. You know your way around. Put on your yellow shirt, rent a bicycle, and say to Paris cyclists:
"On fait la course?" (Want to race?)
"Qui a gagne?" Who won?
(Please notice that "gagne" is pronounced the same as the name of the Los Angeles Dodgers closer Eric Gagne!)
Hungry?
"J'ai une faim de loup!"
I'm as starving as a wolf!
"On va acheter la barbe a papa"
Let's buy some cotton candy.
(The French word for cotton candy literally means 'daddy's beard')
Pouring down rain? The French say
"Il pleut des cordes" which literally means that it's raining ropes.
"Je peux emprunter un parapluie?"
(May I borrow an umbrella?)By the way, you might need to say this at your hotel or even on the street :
"Je voudrais envoyer un courriel"
(I want to send an e-mail.)
The French government just outlawed use of the word "e-mail" in French language. Please respect the French government's sensitivity and use the approved substitute "courriel" when speaking French.
See the sexy Parisienne?
"Vachement bandante" (Extremely sexy)
Say that to your buddy, then approach her in style and try this pick-up line:
"Je peux voir sur votre tatouage?"
(May I look at your tattoo?)
She might smile and say "D'accord" or she could frown and mutter something about onions:
"Ce n'est pas tes oignons"
(It's none of your business.)
Pretend you did not understand and then purposely mispronounce this old phrase from your high school French:
"Repetez, sil vous plait", which when spoken carelessly means "Please fart again."
She might change her mind some day so
be sure to hand her your e-mail address:
"Envoie-moi un courriel"
(Send me an e-mail.)
You might want to add a "s'il vous plait" at the end of that phrase to impress her with a sincere "please"
Speechless?
"Qui m'a chope mon dico?"
(Who stole my dictionary?)
"Tant pis pour toi!" Tough luck for you!
