New Madeira

We checked in around 730p on a Friday night. When we first checked in, we were given the run down of the hotel by a courteous clerk (one of only two employees that were friendly). We went to the room immediately to drop off our belongings. Upon arrival in the room, we noticed that is was unbelievably warm in the room! We opened the windows and sat there for about an hour... it was still hot! After supper we returned to the hotel. The room was still like a sauna. Even with the windows opened and fan on, it was unbearable. I then called down to the front desk and asked if the heat was on! I was told that it wasn't and nothing could be done to cool the room down. How about air-conditioning? At £180/night you at least expect that! The room was so hot, we slept above the covers until at least midnight... when the heat almost subsided. I say almost, because after midnight, the club adjacent to the hotel made it impossible to sleep. Therefore, we needed to close the windows to get some rest, which raised the heat level once again. Eventually, the club emptied and we got some sleep. It seems as though when we booked the room it should have been explained about the excessive heat and loud noise that people experience when staying here. This is not the end of the nightmare either. The following night, we went out for a little while and came back into the hotel. The night auditor or duty manager was there and was really rude to us! He barked at us, "Who are you, what are you doing here?" When stated that we were staying in the hotel and he said sternly, "what room?" I realise that night auditors aren't the most personable people (I have worked in several hotels) and are basically just a body to keep the place running... but this was too far "over the top" to what I have seen at other places in the past. The next morning we had breakfast as we did the day before. The breakfast server was very friendly and courteous, unlike the other employees we encountered (aside from the front desk guy at check-in). After breakfast we returned to the room to get cleaned up and to pack, then leave. At check-out we were informed that we were being "fined" for smoking in the hotel. Now I don't know what IN the hotel is, but to me-- it's not OUTSIDE the hotel. We were in fact outside on the balcony and we careful not to dispose of the cigarettes carelessly-- we extinguished them and put them into the bin. The clerk at the time said, well the manager is not here, so I have to charge you. It is against the law to smoke in the hotel. That is a downright lie. There is no such law on the books in England. Furthermore, even if this situation fell under the no smoking in public areas law which is now in effect-- it would not apply, due to the area being uncovered. The clerk took payment for this which I have now disputed. Overall, this was a weekend from hell due to the actions and lack of action when needed by the hotel staff. I would not recommend this hotel to my worst enemy, let alone friends! Take my advice and pass on this dump.

Unique Quality: The only thing going for this place is it's good location. However, for the price it's not worth it. There are plenty other guest houses and hotels within a stone's throw from here. Go to them instead.

Directions: Near the Pier.