Regency style seafront with a hint of FaultyTowers
Recently (March 08), the 'Handsome Man' spent one night in this regency style monster of a hotel...I say 'monster' because it is a huge (186 rooms) building belonging to a bygone era.
The 3 star hotel offers central seafront accomodation just opposite the Palace Pier, at reasonable prices and on receiving some hilarious text messages from HM giving me the run down on the room, ('child-sized' bed in a 'box-sized' room with its own mould, which boasted a large trouser press etc !), I decided to go and investigate for myself.
On my arrival, the HM had requested a better room and was upgraded to what he renamed 'the honeymoon suite' with tongue firmly lodged in cheek, for £10 extra. This new room apparently boasted a 'jacuzzi' to match the fabulous nylon bedspreads ; ) Note to cleaners - please hoover the edge of the stairs and rooms and not just the middle.
I am actually being a little mean here, because what I have failed to mention about the Royal Albion , is that the staff are efficient and friendly and the hotel is rather fun for a one night stay, in a somewhat retro/kitch kind of way.
The 'honeymoon suite' boasted large windows with a view of the sea and Palace Pier which opened up onto an enormous patio, which on a sunnier day could be good, although somewhat intrusive on other guests privacy. The twin beds (pushed together!) featured as I say some 1970s style nylon bedspreads and some extremely thin blankets, an onsuite with a giant old tub with promised jacuzzi (large bathtub with holes) and a few reasonable toiletries. (You may want to have a bath after having a bath though!) The loo handle was a puzzle which was eventually deciphered.
The enormous lobby and dining rooms are faded and jaded regency glam, which could, if someone invested in a few more plants etc look rather more splendid with a little more love and care. The decor was eccentricly outdated - little negro boys with various limbs missing and candelabras coming out of the top of their heads, to match the larger versions dangling from high ceilings may give you an idea!
The late night bar (friendly and helpful staff again) sees alot of hen and stag night revelry and there are pleasant and efficient security staff on the door at night.
Room service is offered and such 1970s delicacies as 'gammon steak with pineapple'. (not sure if they do 'chicken and chips in a basket, but they should!) The menu is not most suitable for vegetarians!
There are also meeting/conference facilities including the Britannia Suite which is 185 sq meters and....also offer 'wedding deals' ha ha I withold my thoughts on this, but if you both have a quirky sense of humour, it may be survivable ; )
Have taken a few photos, will upload soon.
Unique Quality: Eccentric retro madness, perfect for the open minded. Needs a good clean!
Recommended for people on a tight budget or groups of friends who don't intend spending a lot of time in their room and just need a bed for the night, dont foregt your sense of humour ; )
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