Charlies Hotel

You would have to be a right Charlie to stay here – after you read this tip. By the way a right Charlie is someone who is not intelligent. I booked this mess in haste and regretted it the second I walked in. I arrived late after kinking a country mile form the Tube Station. This hovel of a ‘hotel’ is in a very nice residential area. With no shops, bars, pubs or food outlets. And I arrived late. I was greeted by the receptionist and vending machines in the lobby. I had no change and neither did they.

Next I was lead down a short corridor to a dirty door. And then that door opened into a shabby little room. How shabby I hear you ask? There was a big red wire hanging in the middle of the wall over the bed. The bed barely fit in the room and it looked to be actually falling apart. It was! One touch of the mattress and I knew it was the cheapest possible grade with lots of ‘dimples’ and so thin that sleep would be virtually impossible. I was right.

There was a nasty looking chair that sat underneath a poorly wired TV hung crookedly on the wall. It seemed designed to make sure occupants could not safely walk in the small room. And there was a small rail – hanging by the 2 surviving screws – holding to hangers. Just daring me to put something on it. I resisted.

The bathroom was the best of all!

It literally was 8-10 inches (20-25cm) above the floor of the room. The bathroom was so small that I had to stand in the room and lean into the bathroom (and upwards) to shave in the morning. The sink was right below a low shelf so even that was a wet disaster. To sit on the toilet required my knees being wedged against the shower door.

Completely bananas.

In the morning I tried to sleep in. Not much luck. I did make it to the breakfast room with 10 minutes to spare hoping for ANYTHING to eat.

I was greeted by the sight of the Romanian couple who owned it pouring over paperwork. They grinned mildly at me then continued their conversation. I knew I was last as there was absolutely no evidence of any food being present. It had all been put away, cook gone, and the owners had no intention of even giving me coffee or food. I noticed they didn’t look like they missed any meals. Ever.

So no coffee in the room – probably best for safety reasons – and no in the breakfast room.

So this is a cheap, crappy, awful place.

Please do 3 things:
• Read this tip
• Rate this tip
• Don’t stay here

If you do those 3 things that will be hanks enough for me. You can stay at bad places remotely closer to civilization and sites for the same price range in London.

Unique Quality:
UNIQUELY BAD