Linroy Guest House

Use the correct matching luggage.

by sourbugger

It is important to use the correct matching set of luggage when you head out to Skegness on your Holidays.

Some people will get it all wrong by using plastic carrier bags from such stores as Safeway, Marks & Spencers, Waitrose or Next. Worse still they might even mix & Match.

I would advise that you stick to tried and tested brands like Tesco's or Morrisons. If you wish to mark yourself out as a real skank then matching refuse sacks or poundstrecher bags are a good idea. The very best trainers money can buy.

Six inch high stilletto's it pink / yellow / Turquoise.

T-shirt with offensive slogan on it.
(E.g I won't but fcuk ing designer gear, Adihash ? ) Plenty of Brut for the men and Yardley for the Ladies Disposable cameras for photographing of fat slappers from Sheffield on hen nights with heaving bosoms dressed as schoolgirls / nurses / cheerleaders / traffic wardens Camping not allowed. On the welcome sign to Skegg it says "Welcome to Skegness - no puffs"

Outdoor gear is the same as indoor gear if you are talking about clothes, but if you want real outdoor 'gear' then feel free to talk to the many interesting businessmen who can furish you with substances from the four corners of Afganistan.

If God had wanted us to go to Skegness..

by sourbugger

...then it wouln't be connected to the world by the A52

Skegness, it has to be said has something of a reputation as a windswept dump on the east coast.

Little in this hatchet job will dispell that sterotype.

The only thing that is jolly about this place is the logo - the jolly fisherman.

"The Jolly Fisherman"

One enduring image of the town is the well known picture of the big fat fisherman prancing down the beach. If he did that these days he would be probably be arrested.

FROM WWW.JOLLYFISHERMAN.co.uk :

It has been said with some truth that Skegness rose to fame on a poster. The Jolly Fisherman poster and its accompanying slogan is probably the most famous holiday advertisement ever drawn. It has been circulated hundreds of times in almost every newspaper in the land, and the dancing salt has been imitated by thousands of visitors. John Hassall drew the picture in 1908. It had been commissioned by the Great Northern Railway Company and for this masterpiece he received twelve guineas. The “so bracing” slogan, of almost equal importance, is believed to have been the brainchild of an unknown member of the Railway Staff. The poster was first put on display at Easter time that same year in conjunction with a special three-shilling excursion from Kings Cross. The last of these trips ran on August Bank Holiday, 1913. Hassall, one of the greatest of all poster artists, drew many telling advertisements, but none so fine as the Jolly Fisherman. He visited Skegness only once in his life. That was in 1936 when the town which he had put on the map presented him with an illuminated address and “the freedom of the foreshore”.John Hassall said, “the reality of Skegness has eclipsed all my anticipation's. It is even more bracing and attractive than I had been led to expect”. Born in Deal, as a young man he twice tried, without success, to join the Army. In frustration he went off to Canada, and whilst there he turned his hand to sketching. Returning to England, he went on to Paris and Antwerp to study art, and the first pictures he sent to the Royal Academy were accepted. Hassall’s original masterpiece hangs in a place of honor in Skegness Town Hall. It was formally given to the town by British Railways, along with the copyright in 1966.

The artist died in 1948, eighty years old and penniless.