Royal Villas Resort

Luxury for Less

I've been staying in a suite in Royal Villas for two days and I have decided to live here. It's the kind of life I was born for. I'm not coming out. You'll never take me, coppers. Send up some ice cream.
Locals consider Royal Villas one of the best bargains in the area for luxury accommodation. A lot of the credit belongs to the architects and planners: the Royal Suites' design is very smart. The twelve stories look sort of squat, like a beehive, with a mass of angles that give all the suites a great view. Sea breeze wafts through the lobby and up through the hollow core, gently waving the hanging gardens and cooling the place through Mazatlan's brutal summers. The layouts are more like fashionable apartments...there are even bathtubs (a rarity in Mexico let me tell you) with lacy cloth curtains.
For that matter, there are all kinds of things you swells might be used to, but I am not used to seeing in hotel rooms. Okay, double door fridge and microwave and range and all the meal serving stuff are probably normal in something called a "suite", but a toaster? A BLENDER? It's an oasis with ironing boards and steam irons, sewing kit, washer/dryer on every other floor. A couch/bed and TV's in both living room and bedroom and THREE balconies with lounges and little tables. I refuse to leave. It's not just the height and width of these balconies: it's they are perfectly positioned in front of the Three Islands for maximal sunsets and daylight eyefeasts. The pelicans like the building and are always swooping about.

Unique Quality: The lobby sports a salon and day spa, a sprawling restaurant with breakfast buffet, an art store. And a very serious gym with heavy equipment. Even the big boys can stay here without losing their buff. But you'd really rather be out on the water, right? A great little pool with waterslide, and a wide yellow beach with big combers and plenty of toys. Rows of chaise lounges embrace and soothe the sun-deprived. They must not have balconies, poor souls. I don't want to go back to not having a balcony. I need a bathtub, dammit. I'm not leaving.
I couldn't ordinarily afford this place. But for you it's not that much. You could pay more for much, much less right up the beach. In the U.S. or Europe you would not be living like this for under $200 USD a night, I think. And they have rooms for under $150 a night. No kitchens, but nice balconies. And above me is a PENTHOUSE! Sleeps eight, 360 view (including the mountains you see coming up in the nifty glass elevator) for under $600 US a night. Less than $75 a person. You know what that buys in San Francisco? A box on the motorway, that's what. Forget it. I shall not be moved.

• Opinion of Price: about average

Royal Villas Resort Photo: Beach View De Lujo

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