More about Parmer's Place
What a surprise
Nice place to stay if you are over the age 65 and hard of hearing. The owner seems to have no regard for the fact that his 10 plus exotic birds start their yelling at 6:24am every morning, and say goodnight with the same outragous noise at dusk. It's literally impossible to enjoy a quiet morning, or evening out on the balconey, or at the pool. Well, you can't really be at the pool in the morning any way because the geriatric arobic class is in full swing. They pound it out to elevator disco music.
The ride to town is a minimum of 40 min. There is absolutely nothing to do in the nearby vicinity.
One more problem, be prepared to empty your own room trash, get your own towels, change your own sheets, and bring a cell phone because there is no phone in the rooms.
The wheather was quite nice.
Stephen and Yevgenia
We hated to leave!
Just had to tell other families what a great place this is. Low key but well managed, spotlessly clean, great views, a safe (small but usable) pool with shallow end for newer swimmers and terrific hammocks in which to while some time away and watch the brown pelicans. My five and eight year olds enjoyed the tropical birds that live on the grounds - they even say 'hello'! The only down side, the morning coffee isn't great but that is absolutely the only thing I can think of that wasn't great! Enjoy!
OMG- Those Birds and the Room!
I would rate okay, but some problems. My main complaint was the room called "Grouper." We stayed in this room the last two nights of our stay. What a disappointment. The room is actually a trailer/mobile home type room. The walls were paper thin. The next door neighbor's kids left the TV running all night, and we heard every word. I finally had to bang on their door at 2:30 am to get them to turn it down. It was awful. The room was outrageously over-priced, considering how tiny it was. We were never told any specifics about the room while booking, or I would have never switched from the room they called "Flamingo." That was a nicer room. We stayed in this room the first two nights of our stay. It was very spacious, but it was the room closest to the parrots. THey were nice to look at, but boy, did they squak! It was continuous. I will say that they took very good care of the birds. I saw an employee tending to them each morning. The seniors were in the pool each morning, attempting something like water aerobics. But, you difinitely can't use the pool during that 1-2 hr. period. There was a continental breakfast, but it was very light. It had muffins, donuts, and English muffins. THere was juice, coffee, and bread of some kind. Do yourself a favor and go to the nearby LIttle Torch Key Diner. It was nearby and it served the best breakfast! Hot and nourishing, a lot moreso than what Parmer's was serving. The staff at Parmer's did a wonderful job in the upkeep dept. Everything was clean and well-managed. You don't get maid service. You have to go to the office and turn in linens if you want them replaced or pay the extra fee if you want it done for you. If you want a clean place to stay, then this is an okay place. There is a snorkeling business nearby, which is why we chose to stay here. But, upon reflection, we will probably stay in Key West next time, since it has more to do, see, and experience.
Cute little place, nice ground, and the birds
I stayed 1 night and would stay again, but in a larger room. I got a single room with a queen sized bed and it was quite small and dark, but i was only in there to change and sleep. The AC worked very well in keeping the room cool and the humidity down, which is a requirement in the Keys. The grounds are quite large and in a nice quiet residential area, well off the main highway so it's pretty quiet. There's lots of waterfront, a couple of docks, some shaded picnic areas, hammocks, and the pool is nice if small. They let me check in 5 hours early, which was great and they showed me my room before they released it to me in case I wanted something else (it was only 1 night so the small room was fine). The free continental breakfast was the standard fare of bagels, muffins, danishes, cereals, etc. but in a private dining room with tv and plenty of room and a nice variety, a step above what you usually get at hotels in the keys if they serve cont. breakfast. The collection of parrots, macaws, and other birds were interesting if a bit loud sometimes. they whistled and talked to you when you visited them. I wouldn't want to be in a room right near the birds b/c they can be noisy, but they didn't bother me b/c my room was on the far side of the ground. I'd stay there again if I was looking for a quiet place to relax, but it's not really near anything really interesting as Torch Key is off the beatn path and all the real action is in Marathon, Bahia Honda, or Key West. However, it's very close to the Key Deer refuge and I spent a lovely afternoon driving around Deer and No Name Key photographing the cute and tiny Key Deer, who are frequently spotted near the road...so drive slowlyand carefully!
Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid!
Parmer's is, without a doubt, the worst place I have ever stayed (if you don't count the rain forest hotel in Colombia). For $100, we got a room with a hangar-style roof that curved back behind the bed. If you sat upright in bed, you hit your head. There was no soap in our room. The only sink was about 12 inches from the side of the bed. The dresser was pushed inside a minuscule closet with the TV on top. You could either watch TV or hang clothes, but not do both. The only place to set a suitcase was at the foot of the bed, but if you did that, there was no room to walk from the door to the other side of the room, so you had to jump over the suitcase or close it, to get to the bathroom. The room smelled bad and the furnishings were ancient. We stayed one night in that room and asked the next morning if there were other accommodations. We were sent to a $200 a night room with a kitchenette with a nice view. The headboard wasn't attached to the bed and it wiggled. The room, again, was stale and ugly. We went elsewhere. I recommend going south to Key West or further north and driving back to Little Pine Key, if that's where you want to spend your daystime. The only ones who think this place is a "resort" are the bugs. One good thing I can say - the sheets were clean. Other than that, you'd be better off in a nice tent.
location, location, location
Wow! I'm surprised at the negative reviews. This place is nothing fancy, but it is clean and well kept. In an area where you can easly pay $500 a night, the price is outstanding. Very close to Key West. I will stay here again.
Stay One Night Just For The Location
We stayed for one night i May 2006. We had not booked and found the place by chance. We were staying in Fort Lauderdale and planned to visit The Keys for a day trip and fell in love with them! Everywhere else was very expensive, so we ended up here.
Good points :-
The location is superb, right on the water. It's one of the lakes/lagoons, Very quiet, crystal clear water and very relaxing. We saw some amazing fish.
The place has a real laid back feel to it, you can't help but relax. It was the antidote to Fort Lauderdale.
Staff were very friendly and it appeared to be a very safe place to stay.
Bad Points :-
Just use it as a one night stop. The rooms are as described by others, VERY BASIC ! You could say they are weird, in that they look like shacks! But, more in a "back to nature" way than being a dump !! Think of log cabins in the forest, that type of thing.
They are a bit of a mess, being scattered around the grounds. But, they aren't as bad as that. It's just hard to explain.
It's certainly not the RItz ! But, what you are getting is a stunning location and comfortable bed.
As for the birds, yes, I can see the problem. Luckily, we were far enough away not to hear them. They do add to the tropical island feel of the place though.
As for location, you are a bit out of the way, and will have a short journey to find somewhere to eat etc.
Overall we were happy with our one night stay, but, wouldn't have wanted to stay longer. The rooms was too small and basic for that.
Mike, Rochester, England
A good find
We found the Parmers Resort as a result of Key West being completely booked up. We were travelling up the keys looking for alternative accommodation, when a member of staff at the Tourist Information told us there were vacancies.
It is a huge resort (5 acres) and many of the accommodations overlook the Gulf of Mexico. There is a resort pool, laundry facilities, and a breakfast room.
Accommodation was between $99 and $200, and was a good bolt hole for overpriced weekends in Key West. (The resort is about 26 miles from Key West).
The accommodation is basic, but very clean. The views are beautiful and it is a very peaceful resort. The only complaint I had was noisy airconditioning in the bedroom.
We will certainly use this resort at weekends when Key West is busy and expensive.
Good vs. Evil
Perhaps the best way to describe this "resort" would be to say that there was a lot of room for improvement. No housekeeping services unless you want to pay extra for it is a big negative. Guests must deliver used towels, wash cloths, etc. to the office to obtain clean replacements. There were a total of three cloths hangers on an open clothes bar provided for a stay of a week. To obtain hot water in sink or shower arrange to wait for at least five minutes of running water, on hot.. If you have enough patience to wait that long the water will then become almost scalding and will have to be constantly adjusted. Walk to the office and smell the sweet odor of raw sewage coming from somewhere. Perhaps the staff might also provide a broom to sweep out the room floors if you do not want to pay extra for maid service. The darling at the front desk could also be a little less confrontational and more accomodating to guests. We checked in on the 11th, planned to stay through the 17th and we were told we had to move into a new room on the last night of our stay. They told us we had to check out of the first room by 11 AM and could not check in to the new room until 3 PM. Quote the front desk darling, "These are the rules". Hellooooo !!! Add the all night leaking water in a toilet upstairs, a leaking shower P trap outside our room, the air conditioner that was mounted so high on a wall above the bed headboard as to be unaccessible for adjustment and t no exhaust fan in the bathroom added up to a bit of "no value for the money spent". On the plus side, some staff were pleasant and helpful, the continental breakfast was very nice and grounds with the water view and hammocks were most pleasant. Back to the negatives...the second room on the second floor was half the size of the first and barely large enough for the queen size bed with no provision for hanging clothes unless you wanted to reach behind a dresser, two hangers, no chairs and almost no flat spots to put anything, much less a suitcase., except the floor. The towel racks in the bathroom were behind the open shower stall door and the shower stall floor rocked back and forth as you turned in the shower naking you feel as if you were on a ship, rocking back and forth...not a real good feeling when you have soap under your feet. It was pretty obvious you were in the atic in this room with the angled ceiling, making the room seem even smaller than it was. The shower stall had a shelf barely wide enough for a razor. I would not call this place a resort by any stretch of the imagination. We would not even consider staying here again if they paid us to to stay there. Bare bones at best and not inexpensive. My rating a 2 out of 5.
Relaxing ,quiet place. Nice clean pool. Healthy fresh complimentary breakfast.Clean rooms and grounds,Nice staff.Great place for the family By the way the birds are great fun.