Bug spray and humidity
I would take someone down to the Pamlico River and throw them in. The water is brown and smelly. When Hurricane Floyd swept down toward the Atlantic Ocean, it carried dead hogs, dead cows, and raw sewage. It's still dirty.
And take them to the Dairy Palace, on HWY 17, because I got food poisoning there. My fondest memory -- hands down? The cheese biscuits at Mom's Grill.
And meeting George Bush, Sr. when he flew into town to buy his big-ass Fountain Powerboat. Because that's what happens here -- really rich people rape us.