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mansion exterior (from the ads)Tower to Nowhere aka "Rex's Ere*tion"
Disclaimer: I was informed that this version of the story, "my version", is inaccurate. A "true" version, following this one, was emailed to me and posted almost verbatim. I personally prefer my revisionist history version, but judge for yeself.
It looks like your average old smokestack, something not at all out of place in Ohio; however, if you ask the locals, young or old, what the tall tower is in Cuyahoga Falls they will reply without hesitation "Rex's Erection". It seems that everybody knows the tower and the rather colorful nickname for it.
Being a Northeast Ohio transplant, I was told the story by my wife. It seems that a couple decades ago, two competing local ministers named Ernest Angeley and Rex Humbard began duking it out over their kingdom on earth. Ernest started his "Cathedral Buffet and Jesus Wax Museum" right next to his church. I kid you not.
From what I am told, you can go to the buffet restaurant (which has extremely red, the reddest you've ever seen, carpet throughout) and afterward take a tour of the "Jesus Wax Museum", which is located in the basement.
I have never been to the "Jesus Wax Museum" due to the fact that I have a terrible and paralyzing phobia of buffets. You know what they say however, "If you've seen one Jesus Wax Museum you've seen them all". Ain't that the truth!
Anyway, I digress. From what I have been told, Rex Humbard, in his desparate attempt to keep up with the Angeley's, decided to build a great tower stretching into the sky similar to Seattle's Space Needle. It would house a multitude of officespace and at its apex have a gourmet restaurant. It would be a crowning achievement to both Akron and Rex - I'm not sure where God was supposed to fit in!
Alas. Rex went bankrupt. The tower sits empty.
I am not sure what the moral of this story is other than the fact that Ernest's ministry and buffet continue to do quite well from what I'm told.
