Fes Tourist Traps

Most people get lost in the ancient medieval medina of Fez. The labyrinthine medina is very hard to navigate and sometimes you may have to pay someone to show you the way out

Unique Suggestions: Try ask for directions to get out when you bought something from some merchants. Or else if you get lost, you may really need to bargain your way with the kids in the medina to get out

Pretty much everything is a tourist trap in Fes but especially the tanneries. Don't be afraid to haggle the prices regardless of how intimidating the vendor may be...or just walk away, there's always a 20 others selling the same thing.

Have you noticed the differences in the culture? Is it making you sick?

May I offer the suggestion that 'you' are making 'you' sick?

You feel it when you see some abjectly poor toothless guy pooing in the street near a bound and whip-scarred donkey who is making his own bed of poo while several petrol sniffing homeless children are trying to get a few dirhams from you by beg-shouting several languages to you...

Hold on! Let me tell you what I do: I personally set myself to remembering the story of "The Goldenish Monkey and his Eskimo Friend, Blind Goop"... it is a funny and adventure filled story; sometimes sad, sometimes rich with hope - For sure, it takes my mind off all that poverty business.

Hope that helps.

Fun Alternatives: When poverty screams in your face to respond, don't hear a shrill sound! Pretend you are hearing orgasmic moaning. That way, when confronted with human misery, you will think of something pleasurable instead.

You may be pretty good at kicking someone when they're down - but are you so good as to know when they aren't actually down and are getting paid to be kicked (slowly, from your own account)?

Still thinking about that? Then you may be too dopey to surf the Riad Boom.

No matter what the hype: Riad shopping takes some actual working brains, patience and most of all - love. You'd better love that place or you are seriously wasting your money and your time. You would do better to stick that money in a trust, dawg. The real success stories of the riad boom in Fes are those who have given something of their hearts to this beautiful city. (Thank you, guys...t'barak Allah alikoom)

Talk to the vets of restoration in Fes for a sober view - google David Amster then give him a buzz before shopping. He is a deity of sorts on this subject and a good chap.

Apparently, the dealers keep close enough ties with the cops to reel you in - A Fassi version of "Catch and Release" where you lose a chunk of change.

The Gnawa are safe people to smoke with as hash is a sort of currency with them. Their music sounds better that way, too. Smoke your chocolate, if you feel safe enough where you are - but don't push it by carrying a chunk of it around.

Kif is cheaper, easier to find - and folks literally smoke this in the street without too much fear. Still, heads up, smokey.

Don't exactly where this tip should go -

Just make sure the taxi driver clicks on the meter. Fes taxis are usually very good about it. If you forget, and the cat doesn't switch it on...you will be negotiating the ride afterward, which can be a drag.

Unique Suggestions: If you get totally stuck - know that most rides are going to only be between 5-15 DH in Fes. 15-20 max for something like the medina to Narjees.

Check out more tourist traps here...

Morocco

Morocco

Morocco

Don't follow any guides that promsie to show you anything. You will end up in a handicraft/carpet shop and those people won't get off your back until you buy something or shake them off.

Unique Suggestions: Shaking them off is not a pleasant affair as they do not take a 'no' or a 'f*** off' for an answer.

Fun Alternatives: Remember: the best way to get out of a nasty situation is not to get yourself into one.