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In addition to Seating Arrangements you should also know a few more things about eating in Korea (or with Koreans in general, especially-I repeat: especially-OLDER Koreans).
(i) The pace is set by the oldest MAN at the table (not woman as us well-mannered Westerners are used to). You may only begin eating after the oldest man has started and you should do you best to finish when he does as well.
(ii) Koreans spoon their soup from the outside in (not vice versa as Emily Post advises). This is so as not to 'push' something (an aura?) onto your guests.
(iii) Koreans often eat with their mouth open and may belch at the table (espcially the Alpha males, they can pretty much do as they please). If this bothers you then you should probably keep quiet until you find some way to get the point to him that it makes you uncomfortable (this is harder if you are in Korea, as it's his turf).
(iv) You should NEVER NEVER NEVER offer anything to anyone with your left hand: only your right. (Although you could use your left if you are middle-aged or better and are giving it to your child or a child you know VERY well.) The more senior/important the recipient the more respectfully you should give it. This is shown by the placement of your left hand on your right arm: on your elbow is moderate respect, on your wrist is higher respect, on your hand is higher still and using both hands (with a bow) is highest. Always err on the more formal side if in doubt. Friends do not have to use two hands, but let the Korean tell you when this is so.
(v) If someone's (especially an older male's) glass is empty be sure to offer to refill it (keep in mind hand placement). Don't fill it on the table, wait until they hold it and bring it up to the bottle. Don't hold the bottle above the glass, but touch it to the rim. (This way if the receiver is drunk/full they can gently raise the glass and cut off the pour without hurt feelings.) Leave a Comment
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Koreans, like many Asians, have a seemingly ingrainged need to bring a gift to every home they visit. Here in the West (maybe it's just my crowd) we have some special parties where gifts are brought and we have B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own Booze) gatherings where you tote your own 'gift' but mostly people are asked to 'just bring yourselves'. Koreans could never do such a thing. Because of this, there is are corner stores and street-sellers all over the place (hence, perhaps, why Koreans end up as store-owners when they move elsewhere).
Appropriate gifts are: fruit (oranges, apples, pears, grapes); juice (same fruits); 떡/ddeok (rice cakes-there are about 100 varieties); or perhaps something (especially food) from your home country if you're from out-of-town (which you likely are if you're reading this).
The important thing is to bring something. Leave a Comment
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More to know:
(vi) Koreans don't eat in courses, everything comes (more or less) whenever it is ready to be served and you should eat from every dish from time to time.
(vii) Your rice and soup are important. Usually Koreans finish them when they are full/finished eating. If you devour yours they will ask if you want more. If you don't get more they will be very confused; just take a bit more and eat some of it and try to finish at the end of the meal.
(viii) There are always many side-dishes in a Korean meal. If you like one then have as much as you like, they will refill it.
(ix) When giving food/serving to someone else never give just one portion/ladel-full. Give 2 or more. When someone says, "Just a little," then give them a lot. When they say, "Enough," give them one more helping.
(x) At a cooking table (e.g., 갈비/kalbi or 삼겹살./sam-gyup-sal) the most junior person should do the cooking (preferably the lowest-ranking woman, male-dominated society that Korea is).
(xi) At the end of a meal where you have rice in a large bowl (e.g., 비빔밥/bi-bim-bap) it's polite to put some water in the bowl after the meal is done. This shows respect to the host/cook by making it easier to clean and also kind of shows that you could not finish all of it (this is good in Korea because it indicates that they served you too much-which translates to 'enough' food). Leave a Comment
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Still more to know:
(vi) Never blow your nose at the table. Even with a hanky this is bad manners.
(vii) Do not leave your soup spoon in your bowl or your chopstick in food (you know how to use these, right?). It's bad luck. This is well-known in Japan but not as rigidly followed in Korea, but if you do it near a conservative eater you're in trouble.
(viii) Never finish the last of a dish (as if you could, as most Korean hosts and restaurants just bring you more and more food). If there are 2-3 pieces left it's a good idea to choose the best one and give it to the oldest man at the table. Same goes for fruit if it's served at the end. Either give the oldest man the best piece or offer the plate to him before taking your own.
(ix) At the end of the meal tell your host, server and cook (if you can): 잘 먹었습ᇠ8;다/jal-meo-geo-seum-ni-da
(that was a delicious meal/I ate well). If you can't remember the Korean then the English will do, but even if you are the most senior person there you should say it. (If you're senior you can use: 잘 먹어요 / jal-meo-geo-yo, a less formal form; but only if you know the people there well.)
(x) Finally, the man/oldest person at the table always pays the bill .
Got all that? If you do you're on track to eat well in Korea (and be invited back for more). Leave a Comment
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When a Korean picks up the phone they ask "Who are you?" and "Where are you from?" For a Westerner this would mean: what country are you from; but for Koreans it's to find out what company one is from. (Interestingly, and against Emily Post's etiquette rules, Koreans have no qualms in asking country of origin and forming opinions based on that, it seems.) The usual response is something like, "I'm Park Jung-Hee from Samsung Life."
As you may have guessed, work is a big thing in Koreans' lives. It's-substantially-better socially to be employed by a large chaebol (conglomerate) such as Samsung, LG, Hyundai, Daewoo, Ssangyong or Lotte rather than a smaller one.
School is another big tie. The big schools are (in order): Seoul National University, Korea University and Yonsei University. Next is Kyunghee University and 'the others'. For women's schools the preeminent one is Ewha Women's University (it is on par with Seoul National in ranking). Having a degree from the top schools not only gives an education which is much more rigorous than that in the West (albeit based on rote) but also access to the connections therein and the social status it brings.
Church is another pillar of Korean society. About half of Koreans are Christian (mostly Protestant, thanks to the Yeouido Full Gospel Church) and many are Catholic, with Buddhists as well-most of the Buddhists are in the south-especially Pusan. Here is another place where people can meet, eat and share an affinity (three very Korean activities).
When they move elsewhere, many Koreans keep these 3 things in mind in the new country. So, if you're meeting a Korean for work or pleasure you may want to state: where you work, where you went to school and what church you go to (if none, or if non-Christian or Buddhist it may be best to stay 'mum' on the subject). Leave a Comment
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When bargaining it's a good idea to know how to speak at least the numbers/prices in Korean. Luckily, this is relatively basic (compared to most things here).
Two things: each decimal place is said in order (so twenty is just two-ten and twelve is ten-two); and the numbers are partitioned according to ten thousands, not thousands, so there is a term for 10,000, 100 million and 1 trillion. It takes some getting used to but it can be learned (if I can, you can!).
The base numbers are:
one - 일/il
two - 이/i (said:ee)
three - 삼/sam (sahm)
four - 사/sa
five - 오/oh
six - 육/yook
seven - 칠/chil (cheel)
eight - 팔/pal (pahl)
nine - 구/goo
ten - 십/ship (sheep)
for larger denominations:
hundred - 백/baek (beck)
thousand - 천/chun (cheon)
ten thousand - 만/man (mahn)
100,000 - 십만/ship man
1,000,000 - 백만/baek man
10,000,000 - 천만/chun man
100,000,000 - 억/ok (like 'oc'-topus)
1,000,000,000 - 십억/ship ok
10,000,000,000 - 백억/baek ok
100,000,000,000 - 천억/chun ok
1,000,000,000,000 - 조/jo ('joe')
Thus, 1,234,567,890,123 won is il-jo-i-chun-sam-baek-sa-ship-oh-ok-yuk-chun-chil-baek-pal-ship-goo-man-baek-i-ship-sam 'on. They always cut off the 'w' in won to make it 'on' after a price. They also slur baek and won together to that 500 won becomes oh-beg-on (for some reason).
The numbers look big, but when you start converting (about 1,200 won per USD) even 100,000,000 won (il-ok-on) becomes nothing more than 83,000 USD--the price of a nice car. For regular shopping practice numbers in the chun, man, ship-man and baek-man area.
Also, some price signs have Hangul on them for the prices, not numerals. So if you know about a few (5-6) hangul you can read those signs too (usually they say /만원/10,000 won or 오천원/5,000 won, nothing too complicated). Leave a Comment
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I was speaking with a Korean friend of mine who was talking about their group of friends: what they do for fun, where they go, etc. Then I asked, "how old are they." The answer? "The same as me, of course...they are my friends!"
This gets to the heart of the Korean seniority system. Those who are older or younger than you (even one year!) are either your senior (you defer to them) or your junior (they defer to you). However, and this is why some Koreans who you may not have a lot in common with will seem to see you as a friend immediately upon learning your age, people of the same age (or birth year) are considered equals. Even if they are at different stations in life they are, at heart, equals because they are the same age.
Thus the reason why Koreans will ask your age at the first meeting. If you are the same then you can get away with certain things: (i) you both can pour drinks without the customary elbow touching or two-handed pour, (ii) you can speak of intimate thoughts (this means about one's family or pricvate life) more quickly with less fear of overstepping bounds and (iii) you both can generally feel more at ease with each other. Even if one is older by a few months this isn't a big deal (although you can bring it up if you want to take care of the check...take care of your 'junior') because Koreans go by the year more than the exact date.
Be sure to remember people's age, though, especially those who are your own age...asking once or twice is fine, but if you ask many times it looks very bad. Koreans seem to have a compartment in their brains for this information...and you should keep it in mind too. Leave a Comment
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Korea is an interesting place. Most people have blank or stern looks on their faces when in public, but if you're in 'the group' then their ways can change dramatically.
For one, many girls hold hands here--especially those in high school, but also moms and teenage daughters (not seen in the West very much) and older women too. It's not all over the place but you can find it pretty much everyday.
Guys are the same...not quite like Thailand (where it may mean a 'coupling') and especially after a few (hundred) drinks. I even have a guy in my office who likes to pat my butt when we're on the town. He always says, "You know, I am not gay..." My (Korean) uncle also likes to hold my hand...and not for a few seconds (as you might expect) but for a few minutes (which still unnerves me a bit, but you get used to things...and he means well). Sometimes I wonder about this place.
Also know of a Western gal here that get incredible stares (and a few pats) when she put on jeans--apparently her butt is a perfectly rounded model that is rare (to non-existant) in Korea. Leave a Comment
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Never trust what you know to be true to be true in Korea. Here 911 is 119, 411 is 114, addresses are written as country, province, city, quarter, building, floor/unit, receiver's name. Go figure.
They drive on the right hand side (so that is the same) but busses don't necessarily stop at red lights. Motorcycles spend as much time on the sidewalks and crosswalks as they do on the roads. Overt sexual or PDAs (public displays of affection) between opposite sexes is not too prevalent, but there are lots of women AND men who hold hands in public (they are not gay, though). There is very little drug use, but tons of smokers and almost everyone drinks like a fish.
Koreans love nature, but have tons of pollutants in the air and water. They are mostly Christian but Good Friday is not a day off (but election days are holidays!).
More to come. Leave a Comment Phone: 1330, 24 hour, English info
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When shopping (this builds on my tip on money and numbers) there is always a volume discount. To show that you are a real Seoulite you should not only know the money numbers but also the counting numbers.
The basic counting unit is gae (said similar to 'gay'). Numbers for counting are different, though:
one - 하나/ha-na..........six - 여섯/yeo-seot
two - 둘/dool...........seven - 일곱/il-gop
three - 셋/saet.........eight - 여덟/yeo-deol
four - 넷/naet...........nine - 아홉/a-hop
five - 다섯/da-seot........ten - 열/yeol
So, three things is simply '3개/sae-gae'. 8 things is '8개/yeo-deol-gae'. The only exception is one thing can be '1개/han-gae' or simply '하나/hana' (most just say hana).
Putting this together, if an item is 4,000 won (sa-chun-on) each you could counter with 'sae-gae man-on' (three for 10,000 won). You'll be surprised how often you get a positive response! If they don't give in I usually just say the same thing again, sometimes 2 or 3 times. I also say things like '3개/sae-gae! 외요/waey-o?' ([I'm buying] three things! Why [don't you give me a discount]?) and give an exasperated 'eye-goo' (good grief) for good measure.
Some goods replace gae with another word such as that for basket, animal or cup/bottle (all of which elude me at the moment). No matter, gae is the default. If you know the other word you can use it and score points/more discount but it's not required.
Hint: learn 1 through 5 because those are the ones you're most likely to use (who needs 10 pair of pants!). Leave a Comment
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