Melbourne Warnings and Dangers

This 'tip' is really a bit of black humour.

At a suburban East Doncaster local shopping centre can be found an odd ball duo of businesses side by side and I've wondered how the planning department would allow 2 businesses to operate next to each other.

Not sure if I want to visit the medical clinic with White Lady funerals as their neighbour. Is there a back door where the clinics mistakes get quietly sent onto the next stage?

Another odd ball duo is in Clifton Hill where a McDonalds restaurant is right next door to a legal brothel - do you want fries with that!!!!!

Jackson Court Shopping Centre
East Doncaster

Melbourne has has had so many changes to it's public transport ticketing system recently that lots of locals choose not to pay. The visitor should be wary of following this lead. The fine is steep, and the enforcers neanderthal.

If you spy a group of 4 or 4 blue uniformed knuckledraggers boarding a train or tram beware. These guys need to travel in groups, so they won't be intimidated by a 1.5m tall asian student.

Remember that they are folk with a Hitler complex who have failed to meet the standard of the police force or the army. Use words of one syllable so as not to confuse them, and have your valid ticket ready to minimise the length of your interaction with them.

We arrived from our Great Ocean Road adventure to record temperatures in Melbourne. Our first full day in Melbourne was 103 degrees Fahrenheit with sweltering sun. We had our hats, we had our sunblock but we were beat by the elements. We both were sweating up a storm and the pavement became so hot it was buring my wife's feet through the soles of her sandals. We had to get inside and cool down until the heat passed.

Just today 22 November 2012 a group of French girls were subjected to a vicious verbal attack on a city bus
I am truly ashamed to live here in Australia
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/why-so-few-spoke-up-for-a-woman-who-was-abused-on-a-city-bus-20121121-29qc4.html

3 more images

No this is NOT a tip about the famous Collingwood football club, but rather about the bird.

Here in Australia we have a very aggressive black and white bird – the magpies. From August to November the “kids” are being raised and the parent birds are very protective and liable to swoop and attach anyone they see as a threat – and that could mean you who is just enjoying a walk in a park or even ambling along a street.

It is mainly the male birds who attach and they are a more brilliant black and white as distinct to the females who are more 2 tones of gray. The males will attack without any warning squawk and then quickly line you up in their sights for another attach. Pedestrians and cyclists are the most common targets for these aggressive birds and they can draw blood with their sharp beaks.

The main photo is a close up of a tame magpie at Puffing Billy's Lakeside Station and he is always on the look out for a free hand out of food, but by the looks of the beak he's been doing a bit of worm hunting. The bird shown in photo 2 has just been fed meat and is quite tame. He and his girlfriend and often in our back garden looking for a free hand out – and in late spring and early summer will bring their off spring for a free feed – an entertaining sight. Photo 3 is the current (2012) 'Maggie' and as shown comes right up to our back door hoping we'll see her (yes it is a 'her') and give a free feed of minced meat. Photo 4 is 'Bubby 1 or 2' and for the first time we've been feeding 2 'kids'. With all 4 - Mum (Maggie), Dad (Nervous Ned) and Bubby 1 and 2 it is a busy place and the ration of raw minced meat does not go that far - but they are fun to have around.

There are many who would have me charged with heresy for daring to criticise Crown Casino. but in my opinion the place is over rated and tacky. Not to mention the throngs of drunks and gamblers and it is a place that I do not want to re-visit. Besides all that, the place cost around 2 BILLION dollars and the owners and investors would not have spent that money to loose money. Like nearly all casinos they have an almost bottomless pit of money for when 'the house' is on a loosing streak. What chance does the average 'mug punter' have - nil, zero, none etc. I just hope you get the message!!

In my opinion the place was wrongly named and should be called CLOWN Casino.

I used to drive taxis here in Melbourne and after a few bad experiences with passengers, totally refused to pick up from CLOWN - and I was not alone in my own personal 'ban' on the establishment. One evening I dropped off another drunken passenger at the Clarendon Street entrance and a security guard asked me if I was going to pick up a passenger - "Not on your life," I replied. "I don't blame you," was the whispered reply.

In the writing of all my other tips I have included web site and phone numbers when available - I'm not doing that for Clown and if you take my advise you too will stay away.

BTW - some years ago I won a $100 dining voucher to be used at one of the restaurants attached to the gaming area. My wife and I dined well that night and then for 3 days afterwards, suffered from food poisoning. My doctor will verify this if required.

Photo taken from the Colonial Tramcar Restaurant tram stop in Normanby Road.

When you ride a tram, buying tickets are on an honour system. If you see people dressed in blue uniforms with hats on, they are coming to validate your ticket. If you get caught without a ticket, you will be reported to the government and the fine can be steep, so I would recommend following the rules.

If you don't have a ticket or change to buy one, just get off the tram. Just remember that people who don't buy tickets are a main factor for inflation of ticket prices, so it does no good for anybody to steal a ride.

Drug use is a big problem in Melbourne. Heroin is a very popular drug and there are needle syringe collection bins in many public bathrooms and other locations in the city. They exist for everyone's safety, so do not be alarmed if you see one.

Melbourne tries to educate people about the effects of drug use, but they're attitude is that if they can't discourage people from using drugs, the people should do it responsibly.