Clubs & Bars, Brno

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This is a gimmick bar- hence the name. I was looking for a place to perform a life changing act but as it turns out I am not that cheesy so this turned out to be a nice place off the main square to have a drink and a snack

Dress Code: Casual

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Trojka is a gorgeously vaulted street level cafe bar in central Brno that is frequented by the student and creative circle.

Deep window bays offer sofas and relaxing opportunities, with a pleasant view out onto Dominikanska, otherwise it's go elbow to elbow with the rest of the crowd in the drinking, smoking and chatting stakes. Books on the shelf, beer in the mug, student art on the walls, wine down the throat, pillows on the ceiling.

There is also a non-smoking section, and a pleasant outdoor seating area in the courtyard out back in the warm months. Trojka also offers a full range of live music, DJs and performances several times a week.

The atmosphere is pretty relaxed, although it does get very smoky and boozy late on - I wouldn't be surprised if someone's overdone it before and tried setting their head down on one of those pillows on the ceiling!

Might be a bit difficult to blend in if you aren't cut from that type of cloth, but this is a top hangout for the creatively minded in Brno.

Dress Code: Anything goes, preferably a bit grubby.

If I'd only had the money, I'd have beaten them to it!

The Immigrant pub is the first place in Brno that truly caters to the needs of the English-speaking Expat community, as well as the travel weary visitor, and anyone else who wants to join in.

Situated a fair stomp out of the town centre, this pleasant non-smoking pub offers great burgers and full Irish breakfasts...and by that, I mean 'proper' bacon, sausages, and even black pudding.

Draught Guiness and cider is available; this place gets packed, and there's not that much in the way of seating. The atmosphere gets pretty raucous as people get tanked up - sing-a-longs on the piano, as well as regular live music in the evenings.

Friendly staff, football on the telly, and regulars who are always up for a chat. Small outdoor seating area in the summer.

Join their Facebook page for regular updates on what's up and coming, and to also see what you've missed out on!

Dress Code: Whatever's good for you.

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Like the titchy pop egomaniac Prince, the beerhall, restaurant and dance club formerly known as Muzejka has done something silly to it's name. It's now called MJU:Z (pronounced "Myuse" apparently), ensuring everyone will ignore the ridiculous rebranding and keep on calling it "Muzejka", just like they always did.

Apart from that, the only other noticeable changes are the beer has switched to draught ten degree Radegast, and the all-conquering Pilsner Urquell from the tank; and the menu has been stream-lined and "Designed" by Vilem Harasta and his team. Pork knee, goulash, schnitzel, svickova - Mr Harasta and his think tank of culinary experts must have spent nights around the coffeepot and ashtray brainstorming that selection.

Of course, it's always easy to take the ***, so enough of all that. What it really all boils down to is that Muzejka is situated in one of central Brno's most gorgeous venues, with it's high, vaulted ceilings in the downstairs restaurant, and its warm coloured, softly lit upstairs pub.

The atmosphere is relaxed and chatty, frequented by a young, fresh crowd. Non-smoking nowadays, the service is friendly and English-speaking (mostly), if a little on the slow side. The upstairs pub also has a billiard table and flatscreen TVs for the live sport.

Happy hour 3pm - 6pm serves Pilsner for an eye-catching 29czk. In the cellar is a dance club.

Dress Code: Whatever's good for you, but if you decide to wear your mink coat, there's a cloakroom at the entrance where they'll look after it for you.

If you're a sports fan tired of suffering the whims and indignities at the capricious "Kings Head", and weary of straining your neck to watch your game on a 14" TV across the other side of the room at "Arena", you'll rejoice to know there is a better option!

"Na Moravaku" is a decent, no-nonsense bar on Moravske Namesti that does what every decent sports bar should do - it lists what games are being shown in the window, then when the time comes round, they put it on the bigscreen. And the staff will let you watch the game, and even let you have the sound turned up. Perfect!

It is quite a small place, so it's worth reserving a table for a game you really want to see. The website, although in Czech, helpfully lists all upcoming events under "Aktuality".

There's two big screens, one in the main bar area, and one in the smaller non-smoking lounge. The beer's OK, the staff are reasonably friendly, and there's a small menu of snack food, featuring the usual suspects, such as pickled cheese and klobasa sausages.

Dress Code: Not a topic.

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In my Brno guide, I'm not going to review every single dodgy bar in the city - I'll certainly be reviewing quite a few of them, particularly the more interesting or insalubrious options. However, the days are gone when I'd roll up into any stinking dive and have a few beers, no matter how filthy or sinister the company, I used to be quite fearless in that respect. But these days, I'm more discerning - there's just not much value hanging around in places you need to know where the exits are before ordering a beer!

At first glance, the dishevelled beer shack U Bernardyna may seem to fit the category quite well, with it's thickly nicotine clogged interior, drunken regulars who never seem to leave, gambling parlour in the back, and perhaps the vilest toilets in Brno.

Situated right on the busy intersection of Nove Sady and Hybesova, on a scrappy weed-infested stretch of concrete, the pub has a thrown-together, transitory look to it.

When it's warm enough though, and right through the summer, the pub's outdoor benches are actually a pretty good spot for a beer. You can order through the bars of the window, so you don't even have to experience the indoor section, and the beer is cheap and cold. Plus it has a rather astonishing view of the Cathedral (Kostel svatého Petra a Pavla) - perhaps one of the best in the city. You'd be paying aroung 80czk a beer for a show-stopping view of a major landmark in Prague, but here in Brno it's peanuts.

The outside section even has a slightly country n' western theme to it, which used to be highlighted by the lettering on the pub's sign, previously done in the kind of font you'd expect to see on a 'Wanted' poster. The wood cladding perhaps helps, or maybe it's the company, or the speakers hanging outside, which incessantly plays a local C&W channel on the radio.

Just a word on those toilets - I've visited some pretty taxing rest rooms during my travels around Central and Eastern Europe, and this probably drops into my Bottom Five of filthy, urine-encrusted, flyblown bogs, somewhere just behind the toilets at Belgrade train station.

On a brighter note, this is also a good spot during the city's annual firework festival (Ignis Brunensis - May/June) - usually at least one show is over the cathedral, and if you can get a seat, this is as good a spot as any to have a drink and watch the pretty lights.

So not 100% recommended then, but certainly worth mentioning if you fancy an alternative spot for a couple of beers in the sunshine.

Dress Code: The more you look like you've slept in your clothes, the better.

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When I say hairy, heavy and sweaty here I am not referring to the bouncers but rather the music which tends to fit that description nicely. In the way of clubs, having not been here since 2007, I expected it to have changed it's name at least twice or simply closed down but the attached website (sorry, in Czech only) shows that it is still alive and well. I'm glad.

OK, when I visited there I was 47 years old, undoubtedly the oldest person there on any night I visited, and my hair probably wasn't as long as convention seemed to demand but I was made to feel very welcome by staff and patrons alike. They were a really friendly bunch and it must say something about sterotyping people as they looked pretty "alternative". I returned here every night I was in town for at least a couple of beers and it was always the same. Some nights there is just really loud pumping rock music and, especially at weekends, local live bands appear, as you can see from the photos. I was there one evening when a local band were obviously "christening" if that is the right word, their new CD.

This is certainly not a place to take your maiden aunt but if you like your music loud and heavy, this could well be your place. There was no admission charge when I was there, and the drink was only very marginally more expensive than elsewhere. Oh, and the line about the bouncers was just me having a bit of verbal fum. There didn't appear to be any and there was no need for any as I never saw a hint of trouble. As I say, they are nice people there.

Dress Code: Black appears to be good, and long hair seems to be encouraged. However, even if dressed raltively stright you will be welcome.

Presumably inspired by a travel agents of the same name it shares passage space with, or possibly by "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls", Livingstones is dark, sweaty, boozy and occasionally riotous fun.

Provided you can hold your bottle to get past the villainous-looking bouncers, plenty of cheap drinks and cheap thrills are in store in the club's dark wooden, African-themed interior.

It can get packed to almost critical levels at times, and during it's worse moments, the jostling can teeter on the brink of a brawl. Otherwise, there's usually a good time to be had. Features include an upstairs seating area, a quieter side bar that never fails to remind me of the Overlook's ball room in "The Shining", and possibly Europe's only example of a carpeted dancefloor.

Overall, it embodies the kind of borderline dangerous, non-PC Eastern European naffness that has been virtually erased from discos & clubs in Prague. Crappalicious!

Dress Code: The usual for Brno - whatever you grab off the floor first.

You have to be a particularly serene person to make it through the night at Charlie's Hat. One of the few nightspots in town that regularly makes the guidebooks, it's cellar bar & club is usually packed any night of the week.

Tucked down a narrow passageway, there are two options available - a ground level courtyard bar & restaurant, which has music and grub. This can be a decent spot for a few drinks in the summer, so long as you don't sit too near the bins.

The other option is to descend the narrow stairs into the cellar. There are more steps to negotiate down the the main dancefloor, which is strangely situated between two bars. As if dancing in what at times feels like a sewage pipe isn't chaotic enough at times, you also have to contend with people barging backwards and forwards across the dancefloor to get to the bar.

Hot, sweaty, smoky, this crams with all sorts, usually including a few stag do's. Having said that, there's always something happening, and it's as good a place as any to get soaked in beer and soiled by other people's fluids. Not entirely recommended, but at least you won't get bored!

Dress Code: Anything goes at Charlie's. Just don't wear anything you plan to wear again the next day...

There are a lot of clubs in Brno. I will try to describe the style. It is all in the center of Brno.
Caribic - latino club, Jakubske namesti
Mandarin - close to Caribic, similar style, Jakubske namesti
Tabarin - usual disco, Malinovskeho namesti
Two Faces - i dont like so much, it is small and not many people, Biskupska street
XXL - usual disco, Koliste street
Krokodyl - r&b, black community in Brno meets there, it is great, Kounicova street
Faval - far from the city center, but good for student's parties, Velodrom
Semilasso - also a bit far, big disco for students, but also a lot of concerts, Semilasso station
El Sombrero - latino style, lessons of salsa for free, Zelny trh