If you have any doubt about how much the world needs to learn and to progress, just think how many thousand people still do live in it from some odd professions.
Do you want to know your future?
Don't worry, come to me, show me your hand (or foot, or elbow, or credit card), and I will tell you everything you want to hear.
I'm a fabulous guy! I can guess everything, but I don't want to win the lotto. I leave it for you. See? I'm I unique or not?
PS I may work in Albufeira or anywhere else, and you need not to thank, just don't forget to pay my "symbolic" fee.
This is not really a trap but a recommendation: when you take a bus to Albufeira just ask beforehand where it will leave you cause in Albufeira there are two bus stations. The Central or Main Station is outside Albufeira on a hill and the other is close to the city center, so if the bus will leave you at the central station you will need a taxi to get to city center or walk to it asking to people where to go... this happened to us and when we asked for directions they told us the wrong way!!!
During our way to the city center I saw residential houses and on a small lawn there was a white horse which was cropping the grass.. so strange!! It was tied with a rope..
The "strip" in Montechorro has dozens of restaurants and bars. Most of the restaurants use touts to pull you in to their premises but the quality is generally poor and the prices are very high. The strip has several side roads and even roads parallel to it where you will often experience far better service and value. Try to avoid eating on the strip if you possibly can.
No sooner had we descended the steps leading to the town from the courtesy bus drop-off point, we were approached by a guy called Mark, who thrust these soccer scratch cards into our hands and insisted that we expose the three footballs to see if we had won a prize. Unfortunately Mary's card was not a winner. And, again, unfortunately mine was!! According to 'Mark', I had won a cash prize, and he would arrange a taxi to take us to wherever it was to claim our prize. Well, we pondered about this for several minutes, and this 'Mark' was dancing up and down, shouting to us about us winning a 'top prize'. We had to go 'there and then', and a taxi would return us to the town. Does this sound familiar to you? It stunk of Time Share!
This was in the Rua S. Goncalo De Lagos area.
Unique Suggestions: After about 5 minutes of this rigmarole, we convinced him that we were not interested, and gave him our 'winning' ticket, whereby he told us he would go and claim our 'prize'.
My advice would be firstly, not to accept these cards, just walk on by. But if you do, and you win - I guess that every other card is a winner - then tear it up in front of his eyes!
Later on the same day, and at other times, we passes several males with their hands full of scratch cards. Ignore them!
Would you like to be trapped like this? Do you fancy feel like a rat trapped in a cage? There’s two ways to do it. The first one is to come with an all-inclusive package… the second is to come in July and August. If you combine the two, even better… you’ll be the king (queen?) of all rats
Unique Suggestions: At least try and book a room in one of the guesthouses in the old town… you’ll feel less trapped… and you’ll be so much freer and happier
Fun Alternatives: Come off season… come for a day… don’t stay overnight
Well, the whole Albufeira is a tourist trap but let's consentrate on restaurants in this one. Trust your instincts.
1) Almost all of the restaurants are serving Cataplana as well as Chicken piri-piri. Nice agreement, though. Almost 95% of these are not specialized on those meals, however.
2) There are as well quite a few of doormen trying to seduce people enter. Clear mark of tourist places. Once one doorman promised us that I could get a hald of the portion meant for 2 persons just for myself which proved later impossible. I would have liked some prawn curry. Of course, then we already had ordered the sangria. Again, I felt into the oldest phoaxes in the world.
3) The portions are almost always huge. They must have been designed for >200 kg person's. Of course too much is better than too little but still I cannot avoid thinking about the extra money you pay for the food you cannot eat. Order the smaller portions, they are well enough anyway. And cheaper
4) The fishfood. There are many fishfood menus, for example Cataplana you can find from any restaurant in Albufeira. After couple of times I got totally overdosed by those and had to search other alternatives, being international food luckily found in Albufeira, as well.
5) The desserts are a joke. Always ice-creams directly from Nestle's catalogue. Luckily, I'm not that much keen on desserts so it didn't bother me. My girlfriend didn't like that anyway.
6) There are way too much plastic chairs in this city. It kind of gives the cheap first look about the place and cannot be overcomed easily later.
Unique Suggestions: Get a can of sangria or wine, they are always good. Then it goes somehow.
Fun Alternatives: 1) If you want local food, try for example 3 crowns. Try a restaurants that serve only local food, then you may have better change to succeed.
2) If the place has a doorman, it is almost always an indication that the restaurant cannot otherwise survive. Why? Think about it.
3) Take smaller portions.
4) See 1)
5) Take coffee instead.
6) This is common. Get use to it.
beer can be a big trap. police are always looking for turists that have drunk too much to pass them a ticket.
Don't forget where you left your car, this is madness... watch out for your personal belongins inside the car. someone might be tempted to break the car window and rob it.