Madeira Island Tourist Traps

We went to the tourist information office in Funchal downtown and it was very useless and disappointing. Nothing more than a travel book...a basic one! They were not helpful. On the seaside there are many others but private, basically. They are even worse. We asked for some nice place where live music is played and they answer they are used to raccomand tourists to go to the Casino, where tourists can have a dinner and a show for tourist as well. it is obvious that we don't want to do what all tourists do!!!! What kind of advice is it?

Unique Suggestions: it is nonesense to go there. You'll waste your time.

Fun Alternatives: Ask to the receptionists for any kind of information about the island. They are very proud to be born there and will welcome you and give you all kind of information you may need.

The 'typical' in the description begs a question. If they are indeed typical of the island, why go to Santana to see them?
In fact houses with the triangular shape can be found in many parts of Madeira - but nothing like as smartly decorated as those in Santana. These are simply not typical and we only saw one garden shed resembling them!
What's more, if you want to go and look at the overpriced goods at the one which functions as a shop' you'll have to give to beggers or work to avoid them on your way in.

Unique Suggestions: Whrn we went it was belting down with rain but I believe there's a cable-car fairly near that gives good views.

Fun Alternatives: With a car you are conveniently placed for seeing a lot of the north coast. We were without a car and therefore I shall not be doing a specific tip.

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At Monte, the fashionable hill town in Madeira, are the magnificent gardens that surround the cahteau-like Monte Palace. After our visit to the church we walked down the stairs and saw 2 white-clad "chauffeurs" with straw hats waiting for tourists to take a sledge ride.

We didn't take the toboggans ride and had a strowl through the Monte's Municipal Garden. It's certainly the most wonderful and varied garden on the island. To us it brought some peace in the day through its flower, ancient trees, the small river and the pebbly tracks.

Don't miss the opportunity to see the Koi fishes, a specie whose origins come from East Asia and considered extremely valuable. We liked the Buddhist sculptures, miniature islands and ornamental bridges. We also enjoyed the swans beauty and majesty on the central lake. A perfect place for an unforgettable morning!

Unique Suggestions: Do hike the stairs up to the church of Monte. It's worth it, not only for the church itself, but also breathtaking views over the city of Funchal.

Address:
Village of Monte

Directions:
Situated at the south side of the island. It's just northern of the capital of Madeira, Funchal, a 5 minutes drive.

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We didn't visit Monte because of the quintas (although we liked them!), but heared great things about it's church and nearby gardens. It was rather hard to find a parking lot for our car. We did drive in circels a few times and were lucky to see someone leave and were able to sqeeze in. When we got out of the car we felt that the temperature was a few degrees lower, but the sun was generous and therefore pleasant.

From the parking lot it was a strenous walk to the Igreja Nossa Senhora do Monte (Our Lady of Monte Church). We noticed it's very impressive steps. Later on we learned that this 18th century church replaced a small 15th century chapel. Besides that it is the burial place of the Austro-Hungarian emperor Charles I who was exiled to the island and died here between the 2 world wars. The church contains some beautiful pieces of sculpted and gilt woodwork from the 17th and 18 century.

Unique Suggestions: Do hike the stairs up to the church of Monte. It's worth it, not only for the church itself, but also breathtaking views over the city of Funchal.

Address:
Village of Monte

Directions:
Situated at the south side of the island. It's just northern of the capital of Madeira, Funchal, a 5 minutes drive.

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This small village perched up in the hills overlooking the city of Funchal is about 6 kilometers away from the centre of the capital. Well, it is called a village and probably once was, but it is more like a suburb today. Funchal has climbed high up the mountain slopes.

Monte once was the favorite holiday resort for European aristocrats, in particular the English upper class. With no need to work they had nothing better to do during the winter than to move their household to Madeira´s pleasant climate. Most of the guests stayed at the solemny Quintas, which up till now give Monte it's charming vibe. "Quinta" is the name given to the palatial homes that merchants used to set up on the island to live in pleasant surroundings and from which to run their wine empires. Monte was the ideal setting.

Unique Suggestions: Do hike the stairs up to the church of Monte. It's worth it, not only for the church itself, but also breathtaking views over the city of Funchal.

Address:
Village of Monte

Directions:
Situated at the south side of the island. It's just northern of the capital of Madeira, Funchal, a 5 minutes drive.

This is one of the surprises Funchal had for us. Usually we are well prepared when we go on our journeys, but we never heared of the Toboggan ride before we arrived in Monte. We learned that originally it's a fast means of transport down to Funchal for people living in Monte, these toboggan sledges appeared around 1850.

The fun thing is that they are still in use today, of course as a means to attrack tourists. Asking around learned us that they attract thousands of tourists every year who want to make this exciting experience of sliding at high speed on narrow, winding streets down to Funchal. These two-seater wicker baskets glide on wooden runners, pushed and steered by two men traditionally dressed in white cotton clothes and a straw hat, using their rubber-soled boots as brakes.

They told us not to miss out on it, but we had our car parked on the hill in Monte and were there with the 3 of us. A bit difficult to arrange this downhill journey to Funchal which will be made in about 10 minutes on a total course of 2 km, reaching at times a speed of 48 km/hour. Adventurous, yet safe, an ‘old-fashioned’ toboggan ride to make your way down from Monte is the perfect contrast to the high-technology cable car going up to Monte.

Directions:
Find the Monte toboggans at the bottom of the stairs leading to the Nossa Senhora do Monte Church.

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My partner and I thought it sounded quite nice and adventurous: ''Discover Madeira by Jeep'', with 60% off road, a little walk included and stops at villages in the mountains and at the coast. A full day costed Euro 39, and if you wanted you could pay an extra Euro 10 for lunch. It turned out to be a disaster.

After a short ride on the motorway we drove into the mountains on a small road. Just when I thought, ''this is going to be good'', we stopped. ''Coffee break'', the guide said. I had just finished breakfast and really didn't want any coffee after only 20 minutes. The guide obviously wanted to catch up with a few friends during our trip.

In the mountains, the scenery was great, but then the 'off-road' bit started... My bottom was black and blue after only half an hour and during the whole trip we could hardly see anything due to the small, low car windows and our high seats. The fuel smell we noticed already at the start of the trip also got worse and I found myself holding my jumper in front of my nose and mouth after some time. ''It's because the wheel on the back of the door is heavy and therefore the door cannot close properly'' the guide said. The exhaust fumes were blown straight back into the car.

When we got to the restaurant for our lunch break (another place run by some of the guides' friends), my partner and I both felt light headed and ill because of the fumes. One of the teenage boys in our car also suffered from tiredness. We explained to the guide how we felt and asked if he could drop us off at the nearest village so we could catch a bus back into Funchal. ''But maybe you can swop seats with the young boys?'' the guide tried.

Eventually he promised to drop us off in Calheta and he confirmed there would be plenty buses, taking one hour into town. We found out there were only two buses per day....and we had just missed the last one. The taxi back to Funchal costed us 45 Euro...

An interesting day I must admit. I'd rather go hiking instead next time.

Unique Suggestions: Check what car you're going to be in. The old landrovers are worst for their exhaust fumes. Also, check what sort of organisation it is. What are they going to tell you? Where are they going to stop? Will you have time to have a look around on your own when you stop in a village? We got rushed through the most interesting towns, but got ''photo stops'' at less obvious places.

Fun Alternatives: Go on a hiking trip with a guide and a group of other people. We did this and it was great. The scenery you see during a jeep 'safari' is better to be enjoyed during a walk in the fresh air!

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Near the principal square we visited the Igreja de Sao Bento (Sao Bento Church). It's situated just 2 streets back from the promenade and we noticed that the spire is easily spotted from most parts of Ribeira Brava. This beautiful church has its origin in a small chapel dedicated to this saint in the 15th century, that was later altered and expanded to become the parish church in the 16th century. The panels depicting the Virgin with Jesus, with Sao Benardo beside her, are of rare artistic standard. We liked the carved stone front and pulpit. The reveal Flemish influences, as does the image of Our Lady of the Rosery, dated from the 16th century. The church has its main body divided by two series of five arches, into three naves.

Be aware that the Igreja de Sao Bento closes from 1 pm to 3 pm for lunch. We arrived at the closed doors as we read that it was supposed to be open from 7 am to 7 pm, which is true, but do remind the lunchtime! The church clock chimes the hour twice and the church bells 'talks' to the community usually once and sometimes severals times a day, so its presence in the town is felt everywhere.

Unique Suggestions: We guess that there is not a real alternative. You must at least visit this place and maybe try not to take too much notice of the many tourists :-)

Address:
The village of Ribeira Brava

Directions:
The village is situated at the south side of the island at the beach. It's a 30 km drive from the capital of Madeira, Funchal.

Website:
http://ww.cm-ribeirabrava.pt