Hove Things to Do

Hove beach is a pebble beach. The rather sludgy sand only appears at low tide and it’s appearance is a cause for excitement.
Pictured here is the traditional construction of a canal out to meet the incoming tide in order to speed the inevitable inundation.

This park was actually just in front of where I stayed in Hove, here on a sunny day you can have a nice & relax picnic, and if it is really getting too hot, the beach is just a 2 minutes walk from here.

Ah, the Great British Beach Hut! The beloved box of delights into which you can fit many things...as long as they are all incredibly small. Amazingly these tiny wooden huts can change hands for thousands of pounds - and why? Well, they enable beach bathing Brits to bring a little bit of home as close as is humanly possibly to the beach. Just think of the advantages! You can make cups of tea and dunk digestives in absolute privacy. You can de-trouser and en-trunk yourself without enduring the laughter of passing ruffians. You can walk around it (this won't take long). You can hide inside it when squally showers erupt.(this will happen more often than you think) You can store Waspeze and other luxurious unguents inside your hut. You can sleep inside your hut. No, you can't! It's illegal to live in one!!

So there we have it. The beach hut. Small boxlike accomodation you couldn't swing a cat inside.* They can't be hired but they can be admired and peering inside them as you pass by is a great pastime. Who knows what treasures they may hide within? The Holy Grail, The Ark of the Covenant, the Lost Chord...or damp bathing suits?

*Please note this is a typically British expression. No animals were harmed in the preparation of this article.

Any blighters thinking of invading Hove should pause and reflect now. For though we might seem mild and middle class you should be aware that we have our own nuclear deterrent! And what, may that be? Namely our beacon!

Back in 1588 King Philip II of Spain made a dastardly attempt to introduce bullfighting and spangly trousers to England by sending a considerable number of his warships on a daytrip. Thankfully his Spanish Armada foundered when stormy seas and the English fleet put paid to them. The alarm was raised by a large number of beacons which were lit to spread news of the trouble to come..but this isn't one of them! Well, it is...sort of! There was an original beacon placed somewhere nearby and this new one was erected in commemoration.

It is our first line of defence. We don't have any fuel or matches nearby but we can get them very quickly if we need to.* Please note that there is a danger of fallout when lit...'er...you might get a small piece of ash floating in your general direction. If so, BLOW IT AWAY AT ONCE!

* Assuming the shops are open and it isn't raining.

Well, there's plenty to see if you're into birdspotting. Though to be honest we're more geared up to cater for lovers of seagulls (of which there are many)...and starlings and pigeons (of which there are too many). To be fair the sight of thousands of starlings sweeping across the seafront each evening as they had for their roosting sites (see 'West Pier') can be pretty impressive.

If that fails to amuse you could always try a spot of celebrity spotting. Hove - how shall I put this? - isn't exactly Hollywood but we do have one of the many homes of Paul McCartney, and he does occasionally stroll along the promenade. The photograph shows the beachfront parade where many of the stars have settled. Needless to say, they have their own private pebble strewn beaches but Mr Fatboy Slim has been seen meandering with his metal detector along the shore. I jest not!

Promenade just like the locals.

Sundays are for walking along the seafront. Pre-lunch, post-lunch. Dog-walkers, families, everyone.

Just people watching and enjoying the architecture.

....Trousers rolled
the sea is cold
and we all got
chilblains

'Rhincratic Oaths' from The Doughnut in Grannie's Greenhouse by Viv Stansall (RIP) & the Bonzo Dog Doodah Band.