Gloucester is undoubtedly one of the chavviest places I've ever had to live. For anyone thinking of visiting, I've compiled a list of chav locations and habits, to help you prepare and maybe avoid the worst bits.
You can find chavs anywhere and everywhere in Gloucester, although they seem to avoid some of the historic buildings (they don't waste time sightseeing when they could be shoplifting). Just walking around the town centre will sooner or later lead to an encounter with one of these antisocial organisms. They will either shout abuse or hassle you for "money for a phone call". Since all that most chavs are capable of doing with a phone box is urinating in it or smashing it, this is presumably chav-ese for "I ran out of money for lager/cigs/drugs, so I want yours".
However, some areas are slightly more chav-infested than others. Here's a quick guide to the places that are best avoided:
The bus station. Always a favourite of younger chavs. The chavlings don't actually go anywhere, because they deem the possible destinations even more boring than sitting around in a cold, malodorous bus station smoking and trying to buy White Lightning from the late-night grocer/offie.
Innteraction, a club that looks like it's been expensively done up to match the chav definition of 'classy'. Surrounded most nights by a crowd of staggering, drooling chavs and screeching chavettes.
The 24-hour ASDA just across the road from Innteraction. It's a chav haven at the best of times, but late evenings will give you the chance to meet the drunken chavs who stumble (or get thrown) out of Innteraction and go in search of more cheap lager and people at whom they can yell incoherent taunts in chav-ese.
All of Eastgate Street. One half of the road is made up almost entirely of dingy bars and kebab shops. It is infested with chavs all day long, due to the Argos superstore and easy availability of fried chicken, but evening brings them out in huge annoying swarms.
Imagine the scene..You’re trying to get your lunch in the high street, or perhaps you’re looking for some shoes or perhaps even just having a relaxing stroll. Out of the corner of one eye you spot a clipboard….You feel that sinking feeling in your bowels as you realise this is no on-the-town artis. You know you should resist and snarl but you make eye contact and perhaps you even smile. Either way that bouncing guy/girl with the dreadlocks and the clipboard comes leaping towards you and before you know it….You’ve been Chugged.
The Definition of a Chugger is a Charity Mugger. They stop you on the street to try and get you to donate to a charity but not by waving a collection tin, but by getting you to give them your bank details so you can donate every month. They seem to think they are doing you a huge favour as without their help you probably wouldn’t be able to phone or go online and donate to the charity yourself…No, we all need them and their ‘Help’ (and of course there’s nothing better than giving your bank account details to a total stranger on the street is there?)
The Chugger is the high street equivalent of the suicide bomber and will literally do ANYTHING to get you to stop even if this involves them flinging themselves in front of moving vehicles or chasing you into Boots.
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