Skegness Things to Do

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There are about 50 piers left in the UK. Although not a uniquely British phenomenon, they do seem to symbolise the British Seaside. The pier at Skegness would orginally have been quite impressive, a good length you might say. It was mainly used to board pleasure steamers to Hunstanton and other Norfolk destinations. It was already unsafe from before the first world war, and had also contracted it's first rash of slot machines for the great unwashed.

Nowadays the pier has been completely riddled with the cancer of slot and games machines. Only a stumpy little piece remains after the amusement arcades. At least that has been restored to something resembling civility.

As a little detour, walk around by the side of the pier - it has been painted with a dozen or so 'seaside postcards'. I hope some will get the relevance of the Bamforth's postcard I have selected for the secondary picture !

The principle statue of the town's mascot stands behind the clocktower, right on the front, surrounded by his own little fountain.

From a distance, as he prances alomg with arms outstretched, he looks just a little on the 'gay' side. Of course that is in the true 1930's meaning of the word. He is overwhelmingly happy - unlike his altar ego, Sourbugger.

I hope one day to have a statue of myself erected in the town.

The introduction page to Skegness gives you the full rundown on one of the oldest mascots in the business. I only recently found out that a rather excellent second bronze statue of the happy chappy is placed in Skegness station. This could be the only possible reason for going onto the station. The station is quite a disgusting rotting mess, and smells of wee.

The statue itself is however a gem, as he is merrily striding towards the town centre as if arriving from a train, pulling his suitcase behind him. It needs a little repair to whatever was slung over his shoulder - and it is an absolute disgrace that this has not been fixed for the start of the 2007 season. In fact the whole station needs a serious cash injection and makeover to bring it up to the standard of complete dump.

When Sourbugger is usually talking about 'birds' in Skegness, it is normally of the mini-skirted variety (an abiding long term interest) rather than the feathered kind.

Gibraltar point, as any 'twitcher' (bird spotter) will tell you is of national imprtance for lapwings and many other species of birds.

Just a couple of miles out of town on the coast south of Skegness this national Nature reserve consists of two sets of sand dunes and an area of saltmarches.

From the parking area (pay and display) you can gently wander out to the coast and amongst the dunes - but be warned of the speed of the incoming tide.

The area is also important for other forms of wildlife such as snakes : adders and grass snakes. You can also find slow worms, although these are not actually snakes, but legless lizards. They must feel quite at home in Skegness - there are plenty of (Lounge) Lizards who are also legless in search of birds to devour.

Tony's Fish & Chips is situated in a prime spot on the front at Skegness. There maybe a canopy and outside seats, but unlike some upmarket mediterranean resorts with their posh cafes and tavernas, the canopy is to keep off the rain and the seats are moulded from recycled from old Trabants.

The main clientelle are of course lardy-arsed northerners, getting their supplies of heart-attack inducing mountains of chips with mushy peas on top.

If you do eat here, I would go for the fried Haddock, that was actually quite reasonable.

And for the children ? Only British restaurants could come up with the delicacy that is fried chicken teddy bears, I kid you not.

You could go to Skegness and see many examples of large and slippery mammals with whiskers who smell of fish and make strange croaking noises when approached.

But less about life in the nightclubs - the natureland / seal sanctuary is very good at what it does for just over a fiver with seals (obviously) penguins, an aquarium and a tropical house. Nice to see the accent on conservation.

Don't miss the 'seal hospital' and feeding time for the seals - see how many seagulls manage to get a free feed !

Here's a little task for you if you ever visit Skegness. See if you can find this plastic gingerbread man. He certainly needs a good scrub, much like the rest of the place.

One little clue, you will find him quite close to the prancing Fisherman who find Skegness so bracing !

He's certainly no sourbugger - I think I will use him as my picture on my homepage soon.

UPDATE : FEB 2006 - I appear to have vanished. Perhaps the council will return me in the summer. Tell the council this. I am an institution !

It doesn't exactly compare to the Eiffel tower,Big Ben, the Trevi fountain or even Blackpool's tower.

This pidley little clocktower stands on the central roundabout in Skeggers, where the promenade road turns into the main shopping street.

Still if you have seen it, you know you have been to Skegness.

It is said that if you look at the clock once and immediately but a bag of chips, you will never return. Hurrah.