Florida Keys Tourist Traps

Apparently some people miss the forrest through the trees, or in this case, the islands through the Keys. If you went to the Keys and all you saw were bridges and t-shirt shops, I am so very sorry that you had your eyes closed. You missed the beautiful expanses of sparkling water with graceful sailboats, calm manatees, frollicking dolphins, and sleepy sea turtles that lie under each and every one of the bridges. You missed the art and antique and just plain unique and strange shops that are nestled in between each and every t-shirt shop. If you think you paid too much for mediocre food, you must have missed asking a local where the best conch fritters are or where you can get the absolute best and most authentic Key Lime Pie (which is not green at all). I am so sorry that you came to the Keys looking for an amusement park or a tour guide to lead you to the "entertainment." Next time you should probably stick to DisneyWorld, and leave the Keys to those who have an imagination, a snorkel, and sense of adventure.

Unique Suggestions: A few interesting places in the Keys...
Theater of the Sea, Swim with the Dolphins, John Pennekamp Park and Reef, The Dry Tortugas, Bahia Honda State Park, Truman's Litte White House, Robert Frost Cottage, Hemmingway House, etc... If you run out of things to do or see, you aren't looking hard enough.

Fun Alternatives: If you are looking for sandy beaches, I suggest you go to the west coast of Florida instead of the Keys. The Keys are for the underwater sort, not for beach combers.

I have heard so many people talking about their first trip to the Keys, and it always sounds the same. They were surprised to find that it's nothing but bridges... broken up by little splotches of land which are covered with t-shirt shops, bars, and crummy little restaurants. So they continue to "go all the way" and just pass 150 miles with more of the same. BIG disappointment! And what do you do to compensate for wasting a whole day driving? Buy some tourist crap, get drunk, eat some lousy food that costs four times what it would anywhere else. Meanwhile, you see all kinds of "greetings" in the form of bumper stickers, letting you know you are NOT welcome there, such as "I'm a Florida NATIVE" or "If it's Tourist Season, why can't we shoot them?" or "Leaving Florida? Take a friend!" My advice: DON'T BOTHER COMING DOWN! Stay at Disney World and you won't be missing anything. The Keys just don't live up to all the hype.

This places charges a lot of money ($10.00 for an adult) for a tour of a former quarters on the Key West Naval Air Station that Truman used for vacation a couple of times. The building itself is furnished in the decor of the 1940s (not one of my favs) and they practically sanctify Truman.

Unique Suggestions: You can walk around the grounds see the video tape about Truman and visit the gift shop for free.

Whenever I travel, I always try to come away with a momento or two of my trip, be it a fridge magnet, pin, mug or t-shirt...

One of my favourite purchases are t-shirts because every time you wear one, in some small way it instantly transports you back to the time you were on holiday.

Also, when others see your t-shirt often they are people who have also visited the same place themselves and a great conversation ensues...

There are any number of reasons for buying t-shirts - as long as they're cool!

In Key West we bought a Crabby Dick's restaurant shirt for obvious reasons, and a 'Crazy Shirts' Key West 'Beer and Bait Shop' one - though subsequently I found that this was identical wherever you went in the US (San Francisco and Hawai'i at least...) except for the place name...

Unique Suggestions: At least buy a non tacky t-shirt!

By far the majority of tourist t's are seriously tacky - but there are the odd gems...:-)

OK, so you are at the southern most point of the US, only 90 miles away from Cuba. What is the big deal??? There is nothing to see at this stop just a stupid red oversized buoy that tells you that are as far south as you can go in the US.

Fun Alternatives: Go to bar and have a drink