Port Huron Nightlife

There actually IS a small amount of nightlife in little old Port Huron, occasionally. But, if you're from somewhere large and marginally trendy, you'll probably hate it.

On Thursday night, JD's KeyClub has it's 18 and over night, where you'll find LOTS of guys who theink they're a ton cooler than they actually are, and LOTS of current and future unwed mothers, all sweating to the same mid-90's booty music.

On Friday and saturday nights, the EXACT same scenario occurs at the Huron Athletic club, with the EXACT same music...literally identical playlists, god forfrigginbid anyone dance to something they haven't been listening to since before they hit puberty.

There is also "Club Tazaz", which features *surprise* the EXACT same experience, except it tends to attract a large ratio of white chicks looking to score with black dudes, and shuffling gansta rap looking wannabe types more than happy to honor their desire.

If you're going to these places, expect to see TONS-literally-of really chubby girls in clothes that don't fit (apparently, there is a beleif that if you can somehow shoehorn your body into a sausage casing, it means you look good), and, if you're a male, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT wear anything remotely trendy or upscale....you will literally be assumed to be gay if you dress well. The look of Port Huron is baggy pants, wife beater t-shirts, a sulking attitude (prentend your eminem, he is their god), and a shaved head, the "I used to have lice" look.

Dress Code: see above